45. You May Not Be Behind But You Are Losing Time
As much as I love Gary Vee, this is where we come up at opposite ends, because as much as he is correct in saying you have more than enough time to be who you want to be, I disagree with the idea that at age thirty-six you are still a baby.
Once you've passed age thirty, you should have your foot on the gas and be going full speed ahead.
That isn't me saying you should have it all figured out, because newsflash, nobody ever has it all figured out. However, you should definitely know enough to make quick decisions, even if they don't take you to your destination.
Of course, this is all relative to what you want out of life. If your dream is to live what society would deem as a pretty average and ordinary life of clocking in, clocking out, one holiday a year, see a friend on the Saturday, spend Sundays with family and then the routine starts all over again, then yes, you do have plenty of time to figure it out.
For those who want to live an extraordinary life, one where you live in your dream home in the UK, with perhaps an apartment in Tribeca, driving a Rolls-Royce Cullinan, which you park in the Harrods car park for some retail therapy on an average Wednesday, before heading over to the Peninsula to check in with clients on a Zoom call who you only have to communicate with once a week leaving the rest of the week free to do whatever you want such as travelling everywhere between Tokyo, Switzerland and Rio all because you spent a few years building systems that run on autopilot…that needs your attention, now!
Why would you wait? Why would you slow down?
I think it may have happened somewhere between the rise of wellness culture and the conversation around burnout when the idea of 'you're not behind' became a method of self-soothing. And who knows, perhaps my disagreement with that notion makes this article a toxic one.
Yet, we started treating the idea of speeding towards our dream life as a problem, as if moving aggressively to what we want is a symptom of disaster, but what is the alternative?
In this article, we'll explore why speed, real speed, the kind that comes from knowing what to do next rather than panicking, is still one of the best advantages ambitious women have, and why the shift toward accepting delay has cost us more than we want to admit.
The Myth That Slowed Ambition
I promise I’m not going to keep hammering on about him, it’s just that he’s the first person that comes to mind when I think about the ‘You’re Not Behind’ movement.
As I mentioned, a great message, but on the flip side, it made women who were building momentum towards their dreams suddenly become complacent.
I’ve seen this happen in real-time with friends, family, but particularly in ex-creatives I used to work with on the set of photoshoots, extremely talented people who were more than capable of achieving major success, but at the same time had managed to convince themselves that slowing down was a way of being ‘intentional’.
They’ll say things such as:
“I’m waiting until I turn 40, then I’ll kick my arse in gear”
“Once I lose weight, I’ll start showing up as the person I want to be”
“I’m just not ready yet. One day, I’ll wake up and get going”
“I’m waiting for my breakthrough; it’s going to happen any minute now”
It’s not.
I know. I’m harsh. But come on! It’s 2026, how many more excuses do we have stuffed at the bottom of our Coach Brooklyn bags, because I know I’m all out.
The message went from “keep going” to “slow down and trust the process,” which is great, but for many, that gave enough room for hesitation.
It became acceptable to delay forever, to view inaction as self-care, and to call procrastination ‘having patience’.
The issue with having too much patience is that the world doesn’t reward patience in the way we’ve been told.
Ever heard the saying, “Fortune favours the bold”? It means those who dare to put themselves out there relentlessly win.
Opportunities don't wait. Markets shift. People move on. The world keeps spinning.
The difference between the woman who launches her business now, even while it looks like a three-year-old put it together, and the woman who spends another year ‘getting clear’ so it looks like Steve Jobs put it together isn't just twelve months. It's the clients she didn't meet, the visibility she didn't build, the momentum she didn't create. And once momentum is lost, is extremely hard to rebuild.
You can't create urgency after the fact. You can't convince yourself you're moving when you've spent a year standing still.
If you want the life where you're checking in with clients once a week from a hotel in Tokyo, you can't afford to spend three years ‘getting ready’ to start.
Here's What is Slowing You Down:
You started calling hesitation "having patience" and convinced yourself that waiting meant you were being smart rather than scared.
You absorbed the message that moving quickly was reckless, and a character flaw rather than a competitive advantage.
You stopped distinguishing between a sustainable pace and strategic speed, throwing both out together.
Success Loves Speed
Not in a chaotic way, or even in a way that falls into the hustle culture, but in a responsive manner.
This isn’t about doing more for the sake of doing more, it’s about seizing an opportunity, it’s about showing up more than once a month, it’s about letting the world know “I am here, and I’m coming for everything”.
Think about the woman who's been considering starting a business in hairdressing for months. She's got great ideas, she definitely has the experience, she's got something valuable to offer. But she's also got a list of reasons why now isn't the right time.
This is the woman who spends forever figuring out her branding first, the colours, the logo, the font - she wants her website to be perfect before she launches.
Meanwhile, someone else with half her experience and less to offer launches theirs next week.
They create an Instagram page in 30 minutes, they reach out to influencers asking to share their product in one day, they’re documenting the entire journey on YouTube…Six months later, that person has built a client base, has credibility, and has created opportunities that didn't exist before.
And where’s the woman who waited? Still waiting.
This is what I mean when I say speed loves success: it’s taking initiative, it’s being proactive and being able to move from thought to action without delay. Speed is trusting yourself enough to start before you're ready. And let me give you this little nugget - you’ll never be ready. Readiness is a myth, and besides, you learn faster by doing than by thinking about it.
What Real Speed Looks Like in Practice:
Responding to opportunities within hours, not days, because interest fades fast.
Making decisions with 70% of the information rather than waiting for 100% that never comes.
Starting projects before they're perfect because you understand that iteration beats idle mode.
Trusting your judgment enough to act without needing three opinions and a sign from the universe first.
The Power of Picking Up the Pace
And of course I wouldn’t throw this out there without any experience or seeing proof of speed being an amplifier of success.
The female mentors I have had, women I admire, all demonstrate a sense of urgency, not in the way we traditionally think, but in a way that when they want something done, they will do it.
The women I know who feel influential and magnetic aren’t performatively busy, they’re actually building something that lasts. They move in bursts of directed energy, followed by periods of taking stock and reflection.
They make decisions quickly, but not impulsively. They change direction without shame. They're not attached to the idea that every choice has to be perfect, because they know that most success comes from trial and error, not from getting it right the first time.
What they don't do is wait for the next step to arrive fully formed. You don't figure out your business model by thinking about it for six months. You figure it out by launching something physical, even if it’s just an e-Book to test the waters or a waiting list to see if it’s something people want to be a part of, seeing what happens, adjusting, and relaunching. You don't discover how to build the systems that let you work one day a week by planning them exhaustively. You discover it by starting with one client, then two, then finding what can be automated, then building from there.
High Performers Maintain Momentum:
Making quick decisions and course-correcting later rather than endlessly going back and forth
Starting before they have all the answers because they know the answers reveal themselves through action
By being comfortable with imperfection in the early stages, because they understand that version one is just the beginning
Treating every choice as permanent, which gives them freedom to move faster.
The Hidden Cost of Delay
What we don't talk about enough is what actually happens when you wait.
Not the obvious consequences like missing a deadline or losing a job, but the smaller side steps that often go unnoticed
Here's what delay actually looks like:
You spend three months ‘researching’ a decision you could have made in three days, and by the time you're ready to move, things have changed, and your original plan doesn't make sense anymore.
You tell yourself you're being strategic when you're really just afraid, and the distinction matters because strategy moves you forward while fear keeps you circling the same worries for a long period of time
You watch other people do the thing you've been thinking about doing, and you feel resentment mixed with relief. Resentment because you had the idea first, relief because now you don't have to be the one to try.
You confuse ‘taking your time’ with ‘doing it well’ when, in reality, most things improve through speed and trying again rather than long deliberation.
You lose the energy that comes with the initial spark, and by the time you finally act, you're operating from obligation rather than excitement, which dilutes the effectiveness of how you show up.
You become someone who talks about what they're going to do instead of someone who does things, and the identity shift happens so gradually you don't even notice until you're stuck in it.
Like it or not, you miss the compound effect of starting early. The woman who starts her business at thirty-five instead of at thirty-eight has three extra years of learning, building relationships, making mistakes, and creating momentum that the other woman will never get back.
The real cost isn't just the opportunity you missed.
It's the version of yourself you don't become because you spent too long waiting for conditions that were never going to arrive.
It's the life where you're travelling between Doha and Bridgetown that stays a daydream because you convinced yourself you had time.
The hidden cost of delay looks like this:
Three years of ‘getting ready’ is three years of not building client relationships, not making money, not learning what actually works
Every month you wait is a month someone else is building the audience, the credibility, the systems you're still planning
The compound effect works in reverse, too. Delay doesn't just pause your progress, it puts you further behind exponentially
You lose not just time, but the energy and excitement that make hard work feel possible, and ironically make you feel as though you are behind
Building Velocity This Year
So how do you reclaim speed without falling back into the frantic, unsustainable pace that led to the "you're not behind" message in the first place?
It means practising cutting down the time between decision and action. It's about trusting yourself enough to move before you feel ready.
It means recognising that the woman who acts from courage and can hold imperfection until she figures it out will always be ahead of the woman who waits for perfect conditions tomorrow.
It means letting go of the idea that thinking longer equals patience, that hesitation equals wisdom, that slowness equals intention.
And sometimes it does. Often it doesn't.
What Building Velocity Actually Means:
Cutting the time between having an idea and taking the first action from weeks to days, or days to hours.
Treating most decisions as reversible, which removes the weight that makes you freeze.
Acting before you feel ready and trusting that competence builds through doing, not through preparation.
Measuring progress by what you've started, not by how much you've perfected.
Finally…
The women building their dream life aren’t doing it by waiting. They do it by starting, adjusting, and continuing.
They make mistakes, they learn quickly, and they don't waste time mourning what didn't work.
They're not reckless, but they're also not hung up over every falter. They know that most decisions can be undone and that the biggest risk is usually staying where you are.
If you want to build something meaningful this year, the kind of life where you only work when you want to because you built systems that run without you, start by closing the distance between idea and execution.
Stop confusing delay with good judgment. Move quickly, learn faster, and trust that momentum will teach you things that thinking never will.
The extraordinary life you want doesn't come from careful planning. It comes from speed, adjustment, and not wasting years convincing yourself you're not ready yet.
Prompts for Your Journal
What decision have you been sitting with for longer than it deserves, and what would happen if you made it today instead of next month?
When was the last time you acted on an idea within 24 hours of having it, and how did that feel compared to the things you've thought about for weeks?
Are you actually being strategic, or are you just afraid of being seen before you feel ready?
What opportunities have you watched pass by because you were still "working on yourself" or "figuring things out," and how much longer are you willing to wait?
If you knew that readiness was something you built through action rather than achieved through preparation, what would you start today?
What version of your life are you delaying by convincing yourself you have time?
