44. When You Decide to be Taken Seriously, Everything Changes

I still find it hard to believe that the term ‘likeable’ holds any weight because only the people who like you think you are ‘likeable’.

Your sister might think you’re the bestest friend a girl could ever have and will therefore tell her friends, her work colleagues and even extended family members how likeable you are. But let’s think about the friends you fell out with over the pandemic, or the boss you just can’t see eye to eye with, or your mother-in-law who swears that her precious son could do better.

Do they think you’re likeable?

See, likeable people usually end up on my suspect list because what that usually means is that you’re agreeable, negotiable, easy to digest.

And don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with that. However, it does set you up to be overlooked.

There comes a point when being ‘likeable’ starts to cost more than it gives.

You notice it in the colleague who interrupts you mid-sentence, the photographer who offers you exposure instead of payment, and the friend who always assumes your time is free whenever they come calling.

Unfortunately, opportunities do not come calling for women who do not take themselves seriously.

They may compliment you, they may admire your personality, they may even follow you online, but admiration alone doesn’t translate into influence, power or at the very least, respect.

In this article, I’ll walk you through why the world has confused ‘likeable’ and ‘relatable’ with relevant, how soft branding keeps women trapped in the middle ground, visibility, and how you can shift into being seen and paid as a woman with presence, authority and weight.