42. The Power Moves That Make You Impossible to Ignore
One concept I encourage women to move away from is this idea of being ‘likeable’ simply because it’s a relative term, one that society tries to influence us to become, mainly to find success in both romantic and platonic relationships.
But you are only likeable to the people who like you.
And let’s face it, you play a different character in everyone’s story. To your mother, you are Princess Jasmine, and to your mother-in-law, you are Ursula.
Not only that, you can’t be respected if you’re more concerned with being understood. It’s one of the hardest lessons we as women have to learn, but only when you truly grasp this message can you step into your power.
Because what’s the alternative? Spending years over-explaining yourself, shrinking your intelligence to fit in rooms you’ve outgrown just to make those around you comfortable, even though you are talented, kind and hardworking, as you pay the cost of still feeling invisible?
That can’t be life? That’s not living, that’s surviving.
The women who can command a life they feel in control of know that power and visibility aren’t granted, it’s engineered.
In this article, I’ll break down the subtle shifts and power plays that make a woman impossible to ignore - in circles, in rooms, in relationships, in entire industries. But before we get into that, ask yourself one question:
If someone else looked at your life from the outside, right now, would they instantly know you’re the main character?
The Real Reason You’re Not Being Seen
So, as always, let’s cut out all the fluff and get to flesh of it all. Very rarely are people ignoring you out of malice, they’re just doing what human beings do and looking for signals, indicators if you like, scanning for signals of power, certainty, standards and boundaries.
If you don’t project them, they assume you have them at all, and in most cases will treat you accordingly.
This is why I harp on about talent not being enough.
You can’t think just because you’re talented, you will be offered a seat at the table? If that were the case, do you know how many people would have a chair?
You’re not going to ‘nice’ your way to success and influence, it doesn’t matter that you can outplay Ray Charles on a keyboard.
You have to decide on how you want to be perceived, and start behaving in alignment with that version of yourself before anyone else does. It’s called your identity.
Because the moment you enter a room and you don’t have a monopoly on your energy, presence or certainty, the world will put its price on you, and usually at a discount.
Power Move 1: Jump to Conclusions, Not Explanations
As women, we tend to talk ourselves out of authority by over-explaining. It’s so subtle, half of the time you don’t even notice until you realise you’ve turned a simple statement into a self-negotiation.
Lukewarm: “I was thinking maybe we could try doing it this way, but if not, that’s fine.”
Powerful: “Here’s what will work best for us. I’ll have it ready by Friday.”
The first version asks for approval. The second assumes authority. It doesn’t mean there won’t be pushback, but you came across as certain, and when you sound sure, other people believe you are too.
And owning your power isn’t loud, so don’t panic if you’re not necessarily an extrovert, you don’t need to be.
In fact, I personally feel as though the introvert has more control over their power than the extrovert because it’s the quiet confidence that comes from not just knowing what you want, but trusting your ability to deliver it.
Ask yourself:
Do I soften my opinions to sound more “agreeable”?
Do I shrink from being clear in what I want to get across because I’m afraid of being called “bossy”?
How often do I talk myself out of authority in the name of politeness?
Power Move 2: Learn the Art of Strategic Silence
Silence is one of the most underused tools of influence.
I learned this quite late in life, but using it has worked wonders. If you know about business and negotiations, you know ‘the person who talks first loses’, well, the same can be applied in life lessons, especially when we talk about being impossible to ignore.
Women who rush to fill silence often do so out of discomfort, but the most influential women know that comfort with silence signals control.
Imagine being in a meeting. Someone challenges your idea. Most people would immediately defend themselves. Instead, you pause, hold eye contact, and wait. That pause does two things:
It disarms the other person’s energy.
It forces everyone else to lean in - waiting for what you’ll say next.
That pause is your power. Men do it all the time.
Ask yourself:
Do I fill every silence because I’m uncomfortable with tension? This includes the speed you respond to WhatsApp messages, thinking that if you don’t, the other person will think something is wrong.
What would happen if I let people sit in my silence instead?
Power Move 3: Stop Making Visibility a Performance
When I was building my confidence to show up on camera so I could talk face-to-face with my community, everyone I was learning from spoke about the importance of being comfortable with being seen.
It helped. A lot.
But at the same time, I realised this didn’t mean I needed to show up everywhere.
Showing up didn’t mean always having a response, neither did showing every move, or posting endlessly. Real visibility didnt just come from the number of times I was appearing on camera. It came from authority in my presence when I did show up.
When you know who you are and what you stand for (and you should stand for something), you don’t have to chase the spotlight. The spotlight finds you.
Your presence should be like a gourmand scent bottled up in a fancy Arabic sculpture - subtle, expensive, and lingering.
Don’t post for validation. Post to leave a positive mark on the world.
Don’t attend every event. Attend the right ones.
Don’t be make noise for the sake of it. Make noise to be memorable.
Ask yourself:
Am I trying to be known, or trying to be remembered?
Do I show up online as a thought leader or a people-pleaser?
Power Move 4: Protect Your Mystery
Overexposure kills allure. In a world where everyone overshares, power now lies behind the scenes.
You don’t have to narrate every season of your life in real-time.
We don’t need to know if you’re having a ‘winter arc’, or a ‘great lock-in’, just do it.
There’s too much focus on wanting a round of applause to satisfy our egos instead of just doing whatever it takes.
The most powerful women are the ones who make a decision - starting a new business, going on a health kick, travelling the world, and they make the reveal selectively, enough to intrigue, but never enough to be predictable.
The women who hold the most power will only mention it once and never again because they’re getting on with it. Not waiting for permission.
When you’re a little unreadable, people respect your boundaries more because they sense that access to you must be earned.
Ask yourself:
Do I give too much information away to be liked?
What would it look like to keep parts of my life sacred and private?
Power Move 5: Decide Your Standards in Silence
Tied in with power move number 4, you don’t announce your goals, you embody them.
A woman becomes impossible to ignore when her life starts reflecting the standards she’s set, not the ones she’s still going back and forth on.
She audits her actions, her spaces, her circle, and her mindset, congregating with no one but herself.
Ironically, that’s when everyone will feel it
They can’t explain it, but they see it. They feel it.
Obtaining power isn’t about proving you’ve changed. It’s about no longer needing to explain why you did.
Ask yourself:
What am I tolerating that I’ve already outgrown?
Where have I voices the importance of standards I haven’t actually enforced?
Who would I become if I started aligning my behaviour with my highest level of self-respect?
Finally
Don’t misunderstand this article, power moves aren’t manipulative; they’re intentional. They remind the world that your presence has weight. They’re not about world-domination but about definition.
The goal isn’t to be liked, it’s to be respected.
You don’t have to chase attention anymore.
