27. The Last Thing I Ever Want You To Do Is Work Towards Your Goals, Here’s Why
Let me start with something that might rattle your vision board straight off of your wall:
The last thing I ever want you to do is work toward your goals.
Sounds wild.
And you’re probably thinking, “Is this Patrice? The woman who claims she’s helping women worldwide become to the best version of themselves? And now she’s telling us to ditch our goals?”
Yes, it’s me. And no, I don’t want you to ditch your goal, but I do want you to redirect your approach….
We’ve been spoon-fed the hustle, the five-year plans and the idea that delayed gratification will eventually reward us with the life we want.
And while these concepts are important to know, what you’re not being told is…
Working towards your goal is often the very thing keeping it out of reach.
Don’t get me wrong, having goals is important. After all, they are your north star. They give you a target. They pull you out of the noise and give you a reason to keep going.
Of course, our goals are sacred.
But what I’m about to reveal might just flip the entire script inside out.
The Trap of Having Goals That No One Is Talking About
Without a doubt, setting goals gives us a sense of empowerment. It feels like we’re finally getting it done. My hunger for a life of contentment and fulfilment means I also have lots of goals myself.
But most people don’t realise the very language and emotion used around their goal is keeping them stuck in a mode of desire instead of achievement, instead of power, just wanting, hoping and wishing.
And when wanting a goal becomes a habit, here’s what happens:
They keep your power in the future - “One day, I’ll be her” is a belief that delays the actual shift from happening
They become identity anchors - If you’re always trying to become someone, it means you’ve never claimed her.
They feed the ego more than the nervous system. Your body doesn’t feel safe being your dream version yet, so you never fully act from her.
They give you an excuse to stay in transition. As long as you’re “working toward it,” you don’t actually have to take the bolder steps that the real you would.
So, you think you’re being productive, but the reality is, you’re just looping in becoming mode instead of operating in being mode.
Let’s say your goal is to be a wealthy, well-known woman in your industry.
Sounds great, but here’s how most people go about it:
“I’m trying to build something. I’m working toward getting known and becoming someone who is seen. I’m slowly working towards becoming her.”
Harmless, and yet it’s steeped in hesitation and doubt.
This version is still putting her power to the side.
Now imagine she said:
“I am the woman who builds movements. I am known. I am seen. I am building from a place of impact, not scarcity.”
A simple tweak can be so powerful…
This version of you isn't trying, or tiptoeing ‘towards’…
She’s transmitting. And your world responds to energy, not effort.
You Don’t Work Toward the Goal, You Work from It
Every time I open my FYP or explore page, I'm inundated with ‘How we can all work towards our goals’, and granted, that’s down to the setup of my algorithm. However, there’s the shift no one’s talking about.
Why are we working towards anything?
Because towards means your goals are over there. ‘Towards’ implies distance. Lack. Space. Separation.
And when you’re heading towards something, you’re subconsciously saying
“I don’t have it yet”, or “I’m not there yet”
And if you don’t have it yet, guess what the subconscious mind creates more of? People, reasons, and circumstances that cause you not to have it.
You’re not here to chase it.
You’re here to embody it.
The real flex isn’t running toward the dream.
It’s being the dream. Being the goal. Being the end result from the beginning.
That means:
You talk from it. No more “I hope” or “I’m trying.” Replace it with “I choose,” “I know,” and “I am.”
You decide from it. From the woman who already has it and wouldn’t be entertaining half the stuff you might be now.
You move from it in your pace, posture, presence… it should make people feel like they’re meeting someone who’s already arrived.
You spend, create, and prioritise like it’s already yours.
Because when you’re still ‘working towards’ your goal, here’s what your subconscious hears:
“I’m not ready yet.”
And if that’s the belief you’re acting from? That’s the reality you’re creating.
“I Will” Is Keeping You Stuck. “I Know I Am” Is Your Power Switch.
Think about how much you use the phrase ‘I will’…
“I will be the first millionaire in my family”
“I will travel the world”
“I will meet the man of my dreams”
“I will be the healthiest version of myself”
“I will land my dream role”
“I will be disciplined in my work”
“I will be confident”
The phrase ‘I will’ is a mental delay tactic. It makes you feel like you’re doing something… but you’re still sitting ‘almost.’
And “almost” never creates results.
Try saying this instead:
“I know I am the first millionaire in my family.”
“I know I am a woman who travels the world.”
“I know I am loved”
“I know I am a healthy version of myself”
“I know I am the best person for my dream role”
“I know I am disciplined in my work”
“I know I am a confident woman”
Feel the difference? That’s the language of embodiment, and embodiment is what changes everything.
How To Start Operating FROM the Goal Right Now
Start from the end.
Tidy up your language. No more “hopefully,” “someday,” “maybe.” Start using “I am,” “I do,” “I know.”
Check your energy before every decision. Are you deciding from fear or from faith? From confusion or conviction?
Make your surroundings match. Environment is embodiment. Even small changes signal that something new is here.
Move with confidence. Stop questioning if you’re allowed to be her. You are.
Acknowledge the thing that doesn’t match anymore. If it wouldn’t exist in her world, it shouldn’t exist in yours.
Finally
In a world where there’s so much focus on time, it’s easy to obsess over milestones, timelines, and the measure of progress.
But if you’re constantly working toward your goals, you’ve positioned yourself in a state of lack where you’re always reaching, never arriving.
When you operate from the identity of someone who already has what she desires, the way you move through the world changes.
You speak with more conviction. You make decisions with more certainty. You carry yourself with more precision and clarity.
I’m not encouraging you to go about pretending to be someone you’re not. But I am encouraging you to remove the delay between who you are now and who you know you're meant to be.
The question is no longer “How do I get there?”
It’s “What do I need to let go of in order to live from there right now fully?”
Questions To Ask Yourself
If you're serious about becoming her, not pretending, not hoping, but actually stepping in, then ask yourself:
Where am I still acting like my goals are separate from me?
What would it look like to decide that I already am her?
What actions am I taking today that reinforce the lack of what I say I want?
What would the version of me who has it stop doing immediately?
Do I secretly believe I need to “earn” my dream life through suffering or delay?
