Why Facing Your DARK SIDE Will Set You Free
There’s a lot of positive and ‘good vibes’ talk when we approach the subject of self-development and transformation but I feel it wouldn’t be genuine to discuss a glow-up without addressing the darker side.
Becoming the best version of yourself isn’t just about chasing positivity or practising daily affirmations. True growth happens when you confront the parts of yourself you’ve been avoiding—the parts buried deep within, known as your shadow side.
In this article, I’m going to share how embracing my shadow side set me free in ways I would never imagined.
What Is Your Shadow Side?
Your shadow is the side you’d rather not present to the world, the side that consists of the emotions, traits, and desires you’ve suppressed or hidden from yourself and others.
There are traits of ourselves that as a society we deem unacceptable and unappealing. We are usually taught what these traits are as a child and also taught not to show these sides of ourselves.
Whether that meant being too loud, too angry, too selfish, or even too vulnerable.
To fit into societal norms or earn love and approval, we’re taught to bury these traits.
But at the same time, denying your shadow doesn’t erase this aspect of your personality. Instead, it festers in your subconscious, shaping your thoughts and actions on a deeper level
I used to think maybe I wasn’t the nice person that I thought I was because I would get a feeling of jealousy when I would see other blog creators reaching more views than mine.
But I realised that feeling was very natural and very human.
When I tried to push these feelings down and away, I realised I was giving them more power. Then once I confronted my darker emotions, I used them as a way to identify what I needed to work on, such as my self-belief as a writer.
Why Embracing Your Shadow Side Sets You Free
Here are a few ways which embracing your shadow can set you free:
Emotional Liberation
When you acknowledge your buried feelings whether it’s fear, shame, anger or jealousy you release the energy you’ve used to keep them hidden.
Instead of being trapped in emotional cycles and even using them against you, you learn acceptance and become more at peace with who you are your positive, and negative self.
Deeper Self-Understanding
You can’t set yourself free if you don’t know you are bound to certain traits about yourself.
Many of our unconscious habits or self-sabotaging behaviours come from avoiding our shadow side.
Understanding these darker patterns, lets you gain power over them and finally break free from negative cycles.
Authenticity & Self-Acceptance
Freedom comes from accepting yourself fully, including the not-so-nice parts.
When you work on and accept your shadow, you don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not.
You move through life as your most authentic self, which feels liberating and means you don’t live for external validation to feel worthy. This is a great way to build your confidence too.
Better Relationships
Ignoring your shadow side can be detrimental to your relationships with other people, whether they’re family, friends, or romantic partners.
You become aware of the patterns you bring into your relationships, like a tendency to withdraw when things get tough or a habit of trying to control situations out of fear.
With this awareness, you can work on changing these patterns and approach relationships more mindfully.
5 Ways to Work with Your Shadow
Start working on your shadow to identify these patterns, you’ll soon be able to begin to break free from them.
Here are five ways how:
Identify your Triggers
Think about the parts of yourself that you try to hide from the world. This might include traits like jealousy, control, anger, self-righteousness, and insecurity.
Explore your shadow
Once you've identified your shadow, start exploring it. Ask yourself where these feelings and behaviours come from.
What triggers them? What purpose do they serve? You’ll find more prompt further in this article.
Practice self-compassion
Understand that everyone has a shadow side. Being gentle with yourself is key to the healing process.
Use Visualisation:
Picture yourself embracing your shadow, like welcoming an old friend back into your life. This can be a powerful way to integrate your dark side.
Seek support
If you find shadow work can be challenging to do on your own, consider seeking support from a therapist, coach, or trusted family member/friend.
Journal Prompts for your Shadow Side
Try using these shadow work journal prompts as a guide to uncovering this side of yourself.
There are no right or wrong answers, just write how you feel.
What's the biggest lie you tell yourself, about yourself
When are you the hardest on yourself, and why?
When have you felt betrayed?
What would you say to the person who betrayed you.?
What makes you feel envy? Why does it make you feel this way?
What's one trait you see in other people that you wish you had?
What are your most toxic traits and how do you project this onto others?
When was the last time you forgave yourself?
Finally…
The biggest realisation that set me free was when Robert Greene said everyone has a dark side. None of us are perfect, and that’s perfectly okay.
Coming to terms with this truth has made me feel less alone in the negative aspect of my character and more connected to doing life in this sometimes confusing, but very exciting human experience.
