You Don’t Want Your Desires, You Want The FEELING of Having Them
When I first started my manifestation journey, I remember thinking I was doing everything right., writing down my goals, making vision boards, and stating positive affirmations every morning.
But after a while, I realised something wasn’t clicking. I was still wanting the life of my dreams, but it wasn’t happening no matter how hard I tried.
It was only until I heard the following quote:
“There is no desire that anyone holds for any other reason than that they believe they will feel better in the achievement of it”
I learned my desires weren’t ever really about ‘the thing’ they were about, the feeling.
This isn’t to say that you don’t really want your dream home. But answer me this, would you want your dream home if it made you feel bad?
It wouldn’t be a dream, right? It would be a nightmare.
So what makes your dream home a desire to live in?
In this article, I’m revealing why your feelings play the biggest part in embodiment and how to use them to align with your dreams, bringing them into reality.
Why We Chase Feelings, Not Things
Even for something more trivial like when I purchased my vintage Gancini Ferragamo bag in Osaka.
Did I need another bag? Well…I mean…
But, did I need that particular bag? Of course not.
Would I have wanted that bag if it made me feel awful every time I wore it out? Absolutely not, it would have felt like I was wearing something from Michael Kors!
It was the feeling that came with having the bag. It was the accomplishment I associated with owning a vintage piece that had been crafted so beautifully and I discovered it in a faraway land.
It’s not about the dream relationship, it’s about the feeling of being deeply loved and understood, the feeling that comes with sharing life with someone you care about and creating memories to last a lifetime.
This subtle and at the same time powerful shift in focus is what helped me start living in a way that much more aligned with my desires and, ultimately, magnetised them into my life.
Every desire is rooted in a feeling.
A new car represents freedom, independence, success, or luxury.
A healthy body often represents confidence, discipline, and happiness.
A thriving career tends to represent fulfilment, purpose, stability, and pride.
But here’s the tricky part. Chasing the thing instead of the feeling of having the thing, keeps you stuck in the energy of lack.
For example, when I used to say, "I want financial freedom," I was subconsciously indicating and reinforcing that I didn’t have it.
It wasn’t until I shifted my focus onto the feeling of achieving financial freedom and started embodying it in small ways like treating myself to a fancy coffee, or spending my time as if I already had the life I envisioned that I noticed opportunities for abundance began to flow my way.
How to Align with the Feeling of Your Desires
So now that you know it’s never the thing you should chase, it’s the feeling of having it, why is any of this important?
Well, when you spark a feeling, you spark an emotion and your emotions are what send a wave of vibrations into the universe.
And depending on the frequency of that vibration is what will be sent back for you to experience here in your physical 3-Dimensional reality.
Which leads me to the next question - How do you align with the feelings of having your desires?
Here are a few ways I’ve personally learned to tap into the feeling of already having what I want which you can try too:
Visualising the Emotion, Not Just the Goal
When visualising your dream life, go deeper than the image of what you want.
Imagine yourself waking up in your dream apartment—what does it smell like? What does the morning sunlight feel like as it streams through your window?
Most importantly, how do you feel in that moment?
When I visualise living in my dream home, it’s around January, just after the festive season so still frosty outside, enough for me to have to switch on my heated floors in the kitchen which feel so cosy under my feet as I walk over to make my morning coffee while wrapped up in my luxurious dressing gown.
Find the Feeling Now
Your subconscious mind can’t tell if what you are feeling is because you are imagining or because you have manifested it. Either way, it will match your energy, so use this to your advantage.
If your goal is to have a healthier body, ask yourself: What can I do today to feel even 1% more healthy?
A morning session of Pilates or going for a walk around my neighbourhood puts me into the feeling and aligns with the version of myself I wish to be.
In the evening I do a meditation or listen to music that makes me feel empowered and confident. Small rituals help you embody the feeling before the manifestation arrives.
Shift Your Daily Habits to Match Your Desires
Finding the feeling through our mind is only half of the job, you must take action to speed the process up.
When I wanted to feel like a successful content creator, I started acting like one, I would post consistently, show up in my Instagram stories dress for the role, and even schedule my days as if I already had a full calendar of client meetings and collaborations.
The more I embodied that version of myself, the more aligned opportunities showed up with more women joining the community.
Letting Go of “How” It Will Happen
This was the hardest lesson for me.
I can detach from an ex-boyfriend like we had never crossed paths in the first place. But doing the same for the outcome of my career goals was much more challenging.
I used to obsess over timelines and strategies, techniques while constantly questioning if I was doing enough.
But I soon found out true alignment means trusting that the universe knows the best path.
The more I released the need to have control, the faster things started happening and often in ways I couldn’t have planned.
Finally…
Manifesting what you want isn’t about getting what you want someday, otherwise, it will always remain as ‘someday’.
It’s about living in alignment with your desires now and trusting that the universe will meet you halfway.
Know that you already have access to the feelings you seek. You don’t need permission, a specific timeline, or external validation to start living as your highest self right now.
