How To Know If They’re The Right One for You
Between red pill podcasts, disposable dating and divorce being at an all-time high of 50%, when we finally meet someone, it’s hard to decide how to know if they’re right for us.
Relationships take work, a conscious effort, and after the initial stages of dating and infatuation, otherwise known as the ‘honeymoon’ period, reality starts to set in.
It’s at this stage that the rose-tinted glasses are off and you are able to start seeing the relationship for what it is, and not just what you hope it will be.
Love isn’t just about grand gestures or Instagram-worthy moments. It’s about the quiet support, the deep conversations, and the way someone makes you feel in your day-to-day life.
If you’re wondering whether your relationship is truly healthy and built to last, here are eight signs to look for.
1. There’s Equal Give and Take
A strong relationship isn’t one-sided. It’s not about one person constantly giving while the other just receives. There’s a natural balance; you both contribute emotionally, mentally, and even in small everyday actions.
They check in on you just as much as you check in on them.
When you’re having a bad day, they don’t dismiss it—they show up.
You don’t feel like you have to beg for attention, affection, or effort.
I’ve been in situations where I felt like I was the only one holding things together, and let me tell you—it’s exhausting. Real love doesn’t drain you. It fuels you.
2. They Respect Your Need for Space
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to be attached at the hip 24/7.
The right person understands that personal space isn’t a rejection, it’s a necessity.
They don’t guilt-trip you when you need alone time
You never feel smothered or like you have to justify wanting a solo day or ‘me time’
They recognise that personal growth happens both individually and together
From experience, I’ve realised the healthiest relationships thrive when both people have room to breathe.
3. They Encourage You to Spend Time with Your Friends
Priorities change as you get older, so making plans with friends might not be at the top of your list as it once was, but at the same time, you don’t want to completely lose your friendships due to a lack of balance between them and your relationship.
Someone right for you won’t isolate you from the people who matter most. Instead, they’ll encourage you to nurture your other relationships because they understand that love isn’t possessive.
They never make you feel guilty for having a life outside of the relationship
They genuinely like seeing you happy, even if it’s with other people
They respect the role your family and friends play in your life
I’ve witnessed friendships break down where people have created a distance between them and their friends to keep their partner happy, but to me, that’s a major red flag. Love shouldn’t make you choose. It should make your world feel bigger, not smaller.
4. They Celebrate Your Wins and Support Your Goals
A good relationship is much more than two people who just ‘fancy’ each other physically and sexually, and not to say these aspects aren’t important, but if your partner only wants you for your physical presence, the relationship doesn’t have much chance of going the distance.
Sex and physical attraction can be found anywhere; what isn’t often found is someone who genuinely wants to see you win and encourages you with inspiration and support to achieve your life goals.
You deserve a partner who claps the loudest when you succeed, not someone who downplays your achievements out of insecurity. The right person will:
Be genuinely happy for your accomplishments, no matter how big or small
Encourage you to chase your dreams, even when self-doubt creeps in
Never make you feel like you have to shrink yourself to keep them comfortable
The right person, your wins feel like shared victories.
5. They Teach You New Ways of Being and Thinking
A healthy relationship positively challenges you. The right partner introduces you to new ideas, helps you see things from different perspectives, and pushes you to grow.
They don’t shut down your opinions—they engage with them
They inspire you to be curious and open-minded
They help you unlearn old patterns that no longer serve you
I’ve had conversations with people who made me rethink things I thought I was sure about, and honestly, that’s a beautiful thing. The best relationships don’t keep you stagnant; they allow you to evolve.
6. You Can Agree to Disagree
No relationship is perfect, but the right one will handle disagreements with respect and maturity. Instead of turning every difference into a battle, you both know how to navigate conflict in a way that strengthens your bond.
Arguments don’t feel like war zones—they feel like discussions
You both listen, even when you disagree
There’s no scorekeeping, stonewalling, or emotional manipulation
Call me crazy, but I slyly love it when my partner and I disagree; it opens up a healthy debate where we can express our opinions. Real love is about respecting each other even when you’re not on the same page.
7. You Feel Comfortable Showing Your Playful Side
Being with someone good for you will make it easier for you to be yourself around them.
Yes, deep conversations and emotional support matter, but so does laughter, inside jokes, and being able to be your silly, unfiltered self.
You don’t feel like you have to ‘perform’ or be perfect around them
You can be goofy, weird, and completely yourself without fear of judgment
They appreciate the small, silly moments just as much as the deep ones
Some of the best relationships I’ve had weren’t just about deep talks at 2 AM; they were about laughing until my stomach hurt and just feeling free.
8. They Feel Like a Genuine Friend
If you didn’t find your partner attractive, would you even be friends? Beyond romance, the right person should also feel like your best friend. Attraction and passion are important, but at the core of every lasting relationship is a deep, authentic friendship.
You can be yourself around them without fear of judgment
They support you, laugh with you, and are there for you in the same way a close friend would be
Even when life gets tough, you genuinely enjoy their company
When love and friendship go hand in hand, that’s when you know you’ve found something real.
9. You Feel Safe and Secure
Above all else, the right relationship makes you feel safe emotionally, mentally, and even physically. You don’t feel like you’re walking on eggshells or constantly questioning where you stand.
You can express your feelings without fear of being ignored or belittled
You trust that they mean what they say and say what they mean
You feel emotionally at peace, not anxious or uncertain
The thing I hold high on my list of the perfect partner is always if I feel safe in their company.
If I don’t, I’m not sticking around to find out why. I will bring it the table, if I not comfortable with the response, I’m gone.
Finally…
The right person won’t make you second-guess your worth. They won’t make love feel like a game of survival. Instead, they’ll make life feel a little easier, a little brighter, and a lot more beautiful.
If you’re in a relationship that reflects these signs, cherish it. And if you’re still searching, don’t settle for anything less. Real love exists, and it’s worth waiting for.
