You Don’t Need to be Everywhere, You Just Need To Be on the Right Guest List
You can tell a lot about a person by the rooms they enter, and who invited them in.
In the world we’re in now, access says more than appearance. It’s no longer about how much something costs or how shiny it looks. It’s about who calls your name, who saves you a seat, and who believes you belong in their space.
The new status symbol isn’t money, it’s invitation.
The New Currency of Belonging
The real measure of luxury today isn’t just what you can buy. It’s what you’re invited into.
You can have all the designer bags in the world, but if no one’s saving you a seat at the table that matters, it’s all surface.
What’s rare now is belonging. Being known for your presence, not just your style.
And you can’t fake that. You earn it by how you move, how you show up, how you make others feel when you walk into a room.
Here’s what I’ve noticed happening:
Access has become a mirror. It reflects your standards, your social intelligence, and how intentional you are with your time.
Proximity has become prestige. The more curated your circle, the more refined your opportunities. It doesn’t matter
Invitation is influence. As a society, we’ve spent over a decade oversharing predominantly online. It’s grown tiresome.
Privacy is the newest, most valuable item on the market, meaning if it’s public, the tastemakers want no part in it. We’ve seen this in the rise of members’ clubs. Being known is one thing — being remembered is another.
Why It Matters More Than Ever
Right now, visibility is a hot topic, and I, for one, believe it’s important, especially if your goal is to make a positive impact on the world.
But while everyone is trying to be seen, few are being chosen
A woman of true taste doesn’t attend everything; she attends with alignment.
She knows what rooms feed her growth, and which ones drain her or worse, keep her where she has always been.
When you start thinking like that, your life begins to shift. Your guest list, both personal and professional, becomes a reflection of your evolution.
Ask yourself:
Who do I share my ideas, dreams, and energy with?
Who brings something to the table beyond small talk or opportunity?
Who reminds me of the woman I’m becoming?
Your guest list is a reflection of who you are and where you are. There’s no shame in being selective. Choose well.
The Art of Curation
We’re quickly finding out that true luxury has never been about having more, it’s about having better.
The same way a world-class restaurant curates its menu, you can curate the company you keep. In the nicest way possible, not everyone deserves a seat. In fact, not in the nicest way, because some things just need to be said.
Not everyone deserves a seat at the table.
And it’s not because you think you’re above anyone, but because you understand that access is an exchange.
Think about it like this:
Your conversations. Who expands your perspective? Who keeps you small?
Your collaborations. Who adds credibility to your name, and who dilutes it?
Your environments. Do the spaces you enter reflect your standards or your past?
When you become intentional about your circle, people notice. You stop chasing rooms and start hosting them: in business, in friendship, in energy.
Luxury Is How You’re Invited
It’s not the bag, or the car, or the shoes, or even the holiday - it’s the way your name carries weight. The way someone lowers their voice slightly when they mention you is because they know you don’t go everywhere.
The new luxury is when your presence means something.
When people know that if you’re there, the space has been vetted, and this is an important place to be.
And this doesn’t have to be at the Met Gala or an event hosted at The Arts Club. Your name can carry weight because of the likelihood of you being the next best local MP for Lewisham, because of your tenacity to improve the town, or perhaps the murmurs through the corridors have caught up, between the students and their parents, they have realised you are the best teacher the school has ever had since the 90s due to your genuine care about the progress made for every child.
That’s what this all comes down to: discernment. Knowing what deserves your yes, and standing firm in your no.
Designing Your Own Guest List
But what about creating your own guest list? You might be at the top of the guest list for the Power List every year, but how do you curate a list of your own?
Every woman has a guest list, even if she doesn’t realise it.
It’s the group chat you reply to first. The people you text when you win. The ones who get access to your ideas before they become public.
And like any exclusive list, it needs updating.
You can’t evolve and keep the same access policy. The woman you’re becoming has new standards, and your guest list should reflect that.
Ask yourself:
Who do I want in the room with me next year?
Who would I trust with my plans, my vision, my reputation?
Who brings peace, direction, or genuine connection, not competition?
When you treat your energy like a private members’ club, your life starts to reflect it.
Because ultimately, the goal isn’t to be on someone else’s guest list, it’s to acknowledge and to audit your own.
Inside the Living in Luxury Guide, I walk you through the foundations of designing a high-standard lifestyle from your home to your habits. It’s not about perfection. It’s about learning to live like you mean it.
Finally…
Status has always been about access, I can’t imagine that will ever change, but now, it’s deeper.
The new ‘boujie’ isn’t being seen by everyone. It’s being seen by the right ones.
So next time you walk into a room, don’t just ask who’s there. Ask why you were invited.
Because that answer says everything about where you’re heading.
